Thank God for Blackberry

People these days doesn't look up, nor straight ahead. They look down to their Blackberry.

Gimme one.

Chocolate with dilema

So yesterday as i was heading back home from work, my route was to hitch hike one of my co-workers car and then ride another car to get home. This car is a public transportation called 'angkot' *halah, apaan sih*. Well, yesterday, as i was waiting for the angkot to go and drive since the driver is waiting waaay to long for another passanger to come and filled the angkot, suddenly i was craving for some chocolate! Silverqueen's chunky bar, to be exact! It's yummy! And my cell had no pulsa (what the hell is the english for pulsa?!)!

So i get out of the angkot, get in to a mini market (it was raining) and get myself a nice small piece of silverqueen's chunkybar (i was broke!). And i also get some pulsa (?) for my cellphone.

Anyway, long story short, i get inside a new angkot cos the old one is still waiting for passangers, there was this pretty lady inside wearing a peach hijab and a long brown dress (i kinda forget what its called). We trade looks with each other for a second, thin smile, then back with our own business. There was just the two of us in the car. I want to eat my chocolate so i opened it and munch it right away. Its manner to offer the other person who is not eating to share the food that we're eating and i was constantly looking at her, waiting for my mouth to spit out the offer (for the food). But in my head, this words just keep repeating :

"i so wanna share this with her. People used to share me a lot of food in the bus. But i don't know her! And this is awkward! But i have to offer her the chocolate! What am i gonna do?!"

Of course right now in your head u'll all be saying : 'Just offer her the chocolate!'

But i didn't.

I still feel regretful cos i didn't offer her the chocolate, though. :(

Kimdonesia... :'(

You see, there was this cute girl, about my little sister age, a caucasian muallaf aussie who love indonesia named kimdonesia. I kinda fall in love with her (don't freak out! I mean it in a good way!) when i first saw her hijabi tutorial video's on youtube. Her video was kinda dorky but fun to watch cos she look so excited! At that time, i was loosing bit by bit of my faith and wondering why i'm wearing a hijab at the first place.

Watching her get all excited about her hijab get me excited as well. I imidiately subscribe her youtube video, check out her blog and add her facebook & twitter (about 6 month later, not a big fan of facebooks and twitter). Her and that cute egyptian girl who got engaged and probably already married by now so she never update her video's again.

Back to kimdonesia. She was a former christian turning islam and very proud and happy about it. She's also a big fan of indonesia (explain the nick name) cos she stayed in lampung when her mother remarried an indonesian guy. A lot of people really inspired by her passion, her funny sarcastic kinda way jokes, her proudness of islam and the love of life that she showed in each and every video. A fan even made her a website. Www.kimdonesia.com. Don't really know if its still working or not cos i never visit that website. Last time i visit was still under construction.

The story goes, i discovered that she's going through a lot of emotional troubles in the past few days. Her beloved dog dies, she got rejected from the university she's going after, she probably was going through some faith issue cos one of her twitter says that she's trying to reach and consulting with another muallaf just like her. Last but not least, she stated in her facebook that she wanted to take off her hijab in indonesian language (probably scared by the bashing of her other english speaking facebook friends, but no use cos her indonesian speaking facebook friends bash her anyway in a 'lebay' kinda way).

Her facebook was suspended by her right away. I was concerning about her so i try to show my support by twitter. I realized that she must've going through a hard time but the people just constantly bashing her, judging her, threatening with hell fire and such.

This happens a few days ago. Today, i open my blog and Ange from www.3beeta.blogspot.com (probably the wrong address but i'm writing this on my cell, edited later) said that kimdonesia has officially left islam for personal reason. I was surprised! I thought the furthest kim would go would only to take off her hijab and try to start over. Well, she does try to start over but on a different religion, or no religion at all.

The reason why i'm writing this is to let kimmy know that i really really like her not only because she was a proud muallaf but also because of her dorkyness, her cute sense of humour, unique view of the world, her loving attitude and just for being.. Kim. Even if she wasn't islam i would've still like her, but that was the reason i know a person name Kimdonesia in the internet world.

Kim, ur a strong girl. I hope whatever ur problems are, u won't give up to this harsh world that easy. Good luck on ur new journey. I wish u all the best in life.

Another day, another me.

I'll write this blog in english, thinking that most of my co-workers is lacking in english. Why? Coz i'm gonna talk about them, of course.

So the main topic of the day : my kind and smart boss. Kind cos he always know when i was short on money, he'll give me some even if its just 10k, and smart cos he knows what he's doing and know how to do it. I really admired my boss and have a very high respect towards him although, as a normal human being he's not perfect with a lot of fidelity case (which he shares his fidelity stories on many occasion).

I'm totally cool with that. I mean i have no intention on ruining his marriage by telling his wife about these stories, and its not my business anyway. That is, until, he finally set his eyes on me... I cannot believe my eyes! What the heck?! I thought he already know what kind of girl i am. I'm not one of the 'take out' girls that he usually date, and from working with him for the entire 4 years, he should've known!

Let me tell u something, my age maybe has reached the age of 25 but i am still pretty, good looking, smart enough to get any single, available, wife-less, childless, young, good looking, smart guy i want! I am not that desperate nor i am that poor to expect some money from him in any ways possible!

Oh, come on, dude! U have got to be kidding me!

Well, i am taking the adviced from my friends. Forget future good relationship! A no is a no!

Jadi ceritanya begini, pada suatu hari yang membosankan, gw memutuskan untuk cabut ke warnet daripada nongkrong dirumah mantengin sinetron langganan nyokap. As I was sitting in front of the computer, I got even more bored than ever. Gw berpikir di dalam otak gw yang sesederhana spongebob, betapa 'lame'nya hidup gw, cuma berkutat diantara kantor, rumah dan warnet. Its clear that i need a better social life than this.

Maka ceritanya mulailah gw mengeluhkan hal ini diplurk. Temen2 gw dengan baik hatinya menyarankan banyak hal yang sebenarnya cukup logis (untuk kebanyakan orang) tapi satu persatu semua saran itu gw pentalin. Persis kek Mikan kalo lagi di kasih tau! Lol! Peace, ah, Mik. (smirk)

Oh, well, gw ceritanya masih ga sadar diri tuh ya, ampe ketika gw lagi ngecek facebook, ternyata Frap ngomelin gw, ngomong kalo gw kebanyakan alesan. If i really wanna do something, just go ahead and do it! No excuses! And he's right! (thanx bro *hugs*)

After awhile, i started thinking. Karena setelah gw komplain, ngeluh kek gitu, the truth is, weekends gw abisin nginep dirumah temen di Depok, bercanda, ketawa ketiwi, and much more. Jadi masalahnya bukan dari jumlah teman atau apakah gw punya atau ga punya teman untuk menghabiskan waktu, toh temen yang gw kenal di inet rata2 jadi temen deket gw di real life juga. Kalaupun gw pengen menghabiskan waktu ber-social life, daripada ngenet waktu itu mendingan gw ngobrol ama temen2 gw di telpon atau sms sambil ngegaring bareng wkwk.

So I reckon its all a matter of choice. I choose to socialized via internet coz i thought its cheaper (well, apparently not if ur a frequent warnet visitor =="). Sebagai net addict, gw merasa membutuhkan berkomunikasi dengan temen2 gw via inet, apalagi waktu itu koneksi im3 lagi kacrut. Tapi gw bosan dengan internet dan gw ga menyadarinya, gw cuma merasa 'lame' aja gt, gaulnya di internet mulu sementara yang gw butuhkan saat itu bukanlah random chat by writing but a face to face chat, a little skinship, a good laugh. I think not having any internet connection at this current time is a good thing, make me realize a few things that i'm missing. :]

Pilih!

Kantor gw punya dua orang linmas (atau satpamlah istilahnya), si A dan si B. Dua-duanya cowok, dan menurut pandangan mata gw yang udah kerja bareng keduanya selama setahun lebih, emang cocok jadi satpam. Satpam di lingkungan PNS (catet!) karena satpam sekelas satpam bank mah selain berbodi gede tapi juga ramah dan pinter, kalo ada yang baru dateng ditanyain urusannya apa dan dianterin ke teller atau CS bersangkutan. Linmas kantor gw? Hmph. Boro-boro.

Nah, si A ini orang pendek, agak bau badan, tukang molor, lemot (!), tapi rajin dan humble. Mau disuruh-suruh biarpun beresiko kalo nyuruh-nyuruh dia karena ujung-ujungnya salah mulu. Sementara si B juga pendek, cungkring, senga, jarang mau disuruh-suruh, kerjaannya main games di kompi mulu tapi ngaku2 (?) pinter (?). Serius! Tadi beberapa menit yang lalu gw denger dia ngomong kek gitu ke salah satu orang kantor (si C)!

Gw pengen ngakak! Tapi berhubung orangnya masih ada jadi gw tahan-tahanlah ya. Pas orangnya dah ga keliatan, gw tanya dah ke si C, "Mending mana? Lemot tapi rajin atau pinter tapi males?" Jawabnya, "Mending yang rajin atuh! Yang males mah ga guna," (kurang lebih begitulah jawabannya)

Dan gw setuju! Masih mending si A daripada si B. Lagian gw selalu pengen ngakak sama orang-orang yang ngaku pinter.. Justru kebodohan mereka disitu tuh! Entah ya penilaian gw rada subjektif atau ga karna basicly gw emang ga suka aja ama si B. Senga banget! Disuruh ama gw ga pernah mau mentang2 gw masih honor. Pret!

Me? I'm just fine.

So a little update, I'm planning on making a Workshop, a Writing Workshop. I got all figured out, just need to discuss some things with my members and coordinate the place and its all good. Let's just wish it all the best. In the mean while, I'm also planning on making some funding for my Workshop. Planning on making some Harry Potter's Butterbeer and Pumpkin Juice. Don't know if it'll taste good but I've collected all the recipe just need to actually make it. Wish me luck!

Anyway, gw menyesal ga masuk kantor hari ini. Berita buruk dateng bertubi-tubi non stop. Mulai dari berita kalau gw belom nyetak lampiran tunjangan kinerja yang menghasilkan tidak cairnya tunjangan kinerja hari ini, dapet sms dari si bos kalau PC Server yang biasa gw pake ternyata Innalillahi alias mati ga bisa idup, laptop masih di rumah sakit (tempat service). Satu-satunya hal bagus yang gw dapet hari ini adalah berhasil menghubungi pihak Musium Bank Mandiri buat pesen tempat dan dapet duit buat rapat juga berhasil tidur dan istirahat karena kaki gw sakit mampus gara-gara kemaren jalan keliling Plangi (Plaza Semanggi) setelah beli kado ultah Mida (yang kecepetan, btw). Gw jalan pake heels yang biasa gw pake ke kantor tapi tetep aja biarpun heelsnya rendah gw tetep ga biasa berhubung di kantor gw kebiasaan pake sendal jepit jadi itu sepatu biasanya nganggur aja gitu berdebu.

Lalu... Umm, gw pengen online ya dari tadi pagi, niat ke warnet buat menghabiskan waktu dan nyari2 resep Butterbeer dan Jus Labu buat jualan ntar tapi setelah dapet semuanya, yang tadinya niat ngerep dan ngecek update youtube sambil ngeblog jadi terganggu. Masalahnya gw bosen di warnet ini. Gw cepet capek klo di warnet. Masih mending kalau di rumah atau di kantor, bisa ditinggal-tinggal, kalau di warnet kan intens gitu. Mana gw juga nyalain YM lagi (biarpun impis) dan perasaan bosan itu bener-bener menjadi-jadi.

Besok banyak kerjaan, Anggaran 2010 harus di revisi, ngecek komputer kantor, ngeprint atau ngetik ulang lampiran tunjangan kinerja, minta supaya komputer dibenerin trus dipasangin simda... ah... setres gw ga ke kantor hari ini. Mana besok juga rapat untuk Workshop pula.. gimana nasib kalau PC-nya koit? Spidi cuma bisa nyambung ke satu komputer itu doank. --a

Racauan dan curhatan kosong ini has to stop right now! I'll update with a slightly better insight! *wave*